Only tax the stoopid poepel!

Why does it always rain after a dry spell?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why is it when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it’s called cargo?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavoured cat food?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?

What crosses the bridge of your nose?

Can you beat the drum of your ear?

Can the crook of your elbow be sent to jail?

How can you sharpen your shoulder blades?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do they all drown?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

When you are young, why do you need a driver’s licence to but alcohol when you can’t drink and drive?

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"

Do you need a silences if you are going to shot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the morning?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you’re in a vehicle going at the speed of light, what happen when you turn on the headlights?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

How did a fool and his money get together to begin with?

What is another word for thesaurus?

Why do they sterilise the needles for lethal injections?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half lives?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Where do they get the seeds to grow seedless oranges?

If the police arrest a Mime Artist, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?